Missing Her Never Ends

Well, this will be a short post.  I just found that I had to write something today.  I spent a few moments with my son this morning.  He likes to play Sims 3.  He was creating a new family.  This family is actually ours.  The only difference - it has Ashlyn.  He included her when he created his new game.  We spent a few minutes trying to think of how she would look and what things would have been her favourites.  It was nice but sad too.

We will never know who she really would have been.  We can only guess.  It is amazing how things that seem so insignificant are actually very important.  I will never know what her favourite colour, animal, bug, food, or article of clothing would have been.  I won't know if she would have liked the rain.  She never saw it.  She never saw a rainbow or a butterfly.  She never made a snowman or a snow angel.  I never even heard her giggle.  She never called me Mommy or said I love you.

So many possibilities lost, just because of a stroke that no one saw coming.

May Showers

I can't believe it has been so long since I posted last!  But I guess that is what I said the last time.  My life has changed quite a bit in the last few months.  I finally took the plunge and pulled my son out of school and am now homeschooling.  Part of it is fun, the teaching is fine but it can be trying never having any time to myself anymore.  I haven't been able to make it to the gym since before Christmas and it shows.  In April I had to put my beautiful cat Willow down.  It was a very difficult decision and I miss her so much.  It is very much a reminder of losing Ashlyn.  So I have been very down the last few weeks.