How I dread tomorrow. Mother's Day. My son is expecting a good day but I miss Ashlyn so much. Today was hard. Walking through the mall with other mothers and babies, wondering what I did so wrong that I couldn't keep mine. When I remember the little things she used to do, how she used to look when I asked her if she was hungry, or how she would stretch every morning on her changing table, I start with a smile and end in tears. I just want to hold her again. I found the following poem online a couple of years ago following one of my miscarriages. I used it as the ending to Ashlyn's Video which was played at her funeral. I don't know who wrote it.
The world may never notice
If a Snowdrop doesn’t bloom,
Or even pause to wonder
If the petals fall too soon.
But every life that ever forms,
Or ever comes to be,
Touches the World in some small way
For all eternity.
The little one we longed for
Was swiftly here and gone.
But the love that was then planted
Is a light that still shines on.
And though our arms are empty,
Our hearts now what to do.
For every beating of our hearts
Says that we love you.
